The term “the One” has been thrown around a lot lately, especially in Christian circles. There is this notion that there is this one specific person who God has designed for just one other specific person. Some people may even refer to this person as a soulmate. Whatever you want to label it, this notion is one that I have gone back and forth on for as long as I can remember, but I kind of want to flush out my thoughts on the subject once and for all right here, right now.
As you know, God has given us free will, and He does not force anything on us. Instead, He allows us to make the decisions for our lives, including who we should marry. With that being said, just because God does not impose His will upon us, that does not mean that every decision is the right decision. After all, he allows us to choose or not choose Him, and we all know what the right decision is in that case. He also allows us to choose our career, but that does not negate the fact that He put us here for a specific purpose and that we should seek to pursue that purpose for our life above all. I could go on and on about what God allows us to do, but I think it’s safe to say that some choices are more beneficial than others.
Shortly after I was saved, I remember a significant encounter I had with the Lord. I was alone in my apartment, and I had recently received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit with the Bible evidence of speaking in tongues so I was praying in the Spirit at the time. Suddenly, a song began to rise up in my Spirit and I began to sing the words to the song out loud. The song was “Yes” by Shekinah Glory. Listen, back then I did not even know this song like that, but nevertheless the words just began to pour out of me. As I was singing I got the impression that there was something huge that God was about to ask of me, and He wanted to know if I would tell Him “yes”. The only, issue is, God was not telling me exactly what “it” was, He just wanted me to give Him my “yes” before He even revealed what He wanted me to do. So there I was, knelt down, face to the floor as tears flowed down my face, and snot poured out of my nose, unabashedly and emphatically saying yes to God no matter what it was He was asking of me. I left that living room completely changed. Something was different, I just couldn’t put a finger on exactly what it was. (I’m going somewhere with this I promise. I’ll circle back to the One in a second lol).
Several months went by before I realized what exactly I was saying yes to, but when it came, I was not prepared; it really was a big deal to me, and would change my life as I know it. The Lord told me to leave law school right after I completed my 1L year. This request was major for more reasons than one, but I will save that for another post. The point is, it was hard, but ultimately (after asking for many confirmations and waiting til the very last minute lol) I did it- I withdrew myself from law school and followed through on the “yes” I had given God just months prior.
It has been 5 years since that yes, and I have come to discover an important truth. That experience in my living room was not just about saying yes to leaving law school. I now realize that the way I live my life poured out to God, is a continual yes to Him. What I did that day was not simply telling Him yes for that one time on that one occasion, but the reason I felt so changed is because I had given God a lifetime yes. I was saying, “God I will choose your will over my own every. single. time. I will lay down the plans and goals and hopes that I had for my life and instead take up the ones you have for me. I will not add you to the life that I already have, instead I will surrender my life to you and allow you to transform it, no matter what that looks like and no matter how much it may hurt.” Phew that is some heavy stuff ya’ll. I came to that realization after facing many decisions in life when I wanted to go one way, but I could just feel a heavy tug to go in a different direction or make the decision that did not seem the most logical. Over and over again though, I have witnessed God’s plan for my life unfold so beautifully that I could have never come up with this stuff for myself even if I had the most detailed 5, 10 or 20 year plan.
So when it was time for me to make a decision concerning my love life, it was no different. I had always believed and trusted that God would send me the man that He saw fit for me, and no matter the details, this man, whoever he was would be perfect...for me. My prayer for my husband when I was single went something like this. “God, I pray for the husband that you have for me. I pray that whoever he is, that He loves you more than any and everything, including me and that He is growing in His relationship with you daily. I pray that you are blessing the work of his hands and causing everything that he does to prosper. God, I pray that when we find each other, we will know it and there will be no doubt in any of us that we have found “the one”. So because I was praying in that way, I had this expectancy that God will bring my husband to me in His timing, and I always allowed Him into my dating life because He was the one I was expecting to make it happen.
Even though I was praying in that way, I was still completely taken aback when it actually began to unfold the way I prayed, but not at all with whom I would have ever imagined. The way my husband and I got together is one of the most supernatural things I have ever experienced. I will give you the short version but if you want to hear the full story, click HERE for a video we did for our wedding website a few years ago. We attended the same church and considered ourselves friends since we hung in some of the same circles and attended the same small group. About 2 years after knowing each other as just friends, the Lord began speaking to us concerning one another (separately). He let John know that I was his wife and he let me know that John is my husband. Although this was happening around the same time for both of us we didn't know it at the time. We were both shocked and trying to process what we believed we were hearing from God since back then, neither one of us had any sort of interest in the other. God told me that I was not supposed to share what I knew (I guess He just told me so that I wouldn't think John was crazy when he approached me lol). I didn't know how God was going to make this happen or when, I just sat back and trusted Him. Sure enough, just 3 days after asking God for confirmation I received a series of texts from John and then a phone call after he finally mustered up enough courage to tell me what the Lord was saying to him. I'm sure my response shocked him because when he told me that I'm his wife all I said was "I know" lol and the rest is history. We were engaged after 9 months of courting and were married on October of 2015.
John later explained the way God presented me to him, and I believe it should put an end to this whole “the One” debate, but I will let you draw your own conclusion. It’s not like God forced me onto John and said here, this is your wife, marry or her else. Instead, it was just that, a presentation, similar to how God presented Eve in the Garden. God woke Adam up, presented Eve to him and waited to see what Adam would call her. Then Adam said “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:23). He opened John’s eyes to me and let him know that this is my best that I have for you. He let John know that he could continue down the path he was already on (which was not a bad choice, it was just not God's choice) or he could CHOOSE the woman He was presenting which would lead to complete fulfillment of everything God had for him.
Everyone’s story is different, and it WILL NOT happen this way for everyone, but the idea is the same. God lets us choose whomever we want, but not every good decision is a God decision. I don’t know about you, but I want God’s best for my life, including and especially when it comes to the person I marry. That is a HUGE decision, and one that will affect your life forever.
Now, John and I are living in the fruit of what it means to be married to God’s best. God knows exactly what we need and even knows those secret desires in our heart that we have not even articulated out loud. I cannot tell you how many times I have laughed silently to myself after witnessing something occur in our union that I have never even uttered to a soul but was such a weighty personal desire for me. So, “the One”, soulmate, purpose mate, or whatever you want to call it, all I know is that it pays to let God write your love story and be open to His leadings. I have truly found THE ONE whom my soul loves (Song of Solomon 3:4).
Still Hidden in Him,