I am sure you have all heard or read about the infamous Proverbs 31 woman . You have probably even encountered a real life Proverbs 31 woman. You know what I’m talking about: the lady in your church or on your social media feed who always seems to have her life together. They feed their children all organic, make all of their clothes by hand, and they seem to always be so well behaved. Her and her husband seem to always be in love, and they leave the rest of us seriously reconsidering what we are doing with our life. Well that’s not exactly what being a Proverbs 31 woman is all about (but hey it’s goals nonetheless). I have been reading through the book of Proverbs recently, and it is really opening my eyes to a lot of things I have never seen before (gotta love the Word of God). So I always thought that it was a man (King Lemuel) who was sitting there on his high horse trying to tell us what a Proverbs 31 woman should look like. But these are actually the words of his mother, so I can relate a little bit more. Yes, I know that all of the Bible is inspired by the Holy Spirit, but let’s be honest woman to woman, the vessel of the information, makes the pill a little easier to swallow.
There are tons of jewels weaved into the words describing the Proverbs 31 woman, and it would be ignorant of us not to glean from its wisdom. Here are just 3 things that has really stood out to me which I think that we can all learn from the Proverbs 31 woman:
1. How to be a boss
This woman is no joke. On top of taking care of her household well (so much so that she wakes up before everyone else to make sure they are well taken care of- see verse 15), giving to the poor and needy, working well with her hands, and so much more, she is also a top notch business woman. *Cue Beyonce’ lyrics “How we’re smart enough to make these millions, strong enough to bear the children, then get back to business”. Ok back to Bible. We notice that she does not just have a job that she goes to, but she has multiple streams of income and is pretty much her own boss. “She considers a field and buys it, with her profits she plants a vineyard” (v.16). That’s 2 streams of income right there. Oh you thought she was planting the vineyard just for her and her family’s own personal use? No ma’am. That is called diversifying your portfolio. She is taking her profit from one venture and investing it in another. Take notes. Oh but that’s not all, “she makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants (v.24). She is using her talents and the work of her hands to produce merchandise and goods and is using it to make more money. I don’t know about you, but I want to be like her when I grow up
2. How to upgrade your man
Clearly the Proverbs 31 woman is killing the game in the area of Wifey 101. Throughout the Chapter we see various ways in which she is improves the life of her husband rather than tearing it down. Men want a woman who will be an asset to their life, not a liability, and the Proverbs 31 woman gives us great examples on how we can bring value to our relationships. Firstly, she teaches that it is important for our man to trust us. Not just in a “I trust that you will never cheat on me type of way”. It is much deeper than that. A man needs to know that all of his dreams, goals, insecurities, fears, secrets, flaws, his heart, EVERYTHING is safe in your hands. Well how will he know that? The answer is in verse 12. Right after the writer tells us that the heart of her husband safely trusts her, he goes on to say “she does him good and not evil all the days of her life”. He will know through your actions towards him. When you decide to agree with him in public even though you have a difference of opinion so you wait until the two of you are alone to express that, you’re building trust. When you decide to respect him even though his actions don’t necessarily deserve your utmost respect at the moment, you are building trust. When you keep his secrets, you are building trust. When you support his dreams and his goals, you are building trust. When you use your words to build him up instead of tear him down, you are building trust. When you protect his character, you are building trust. When you stick by his side and remain in his corner even when it seems like the whole world is against him, you are building trust. Can your husband, fiance’, boyfriend, or future mate say the same thing about you? Can he honestly say that his heart safely trusts in you? Notice that word safety. There is a protection and a peace that that word connotes. Are you providing those things in your relationship?
I love how the New Living translation puts it “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. Sounds a lot like upgrading doesn’t it? And I’m not just talking switching his neck ties to purple label (for some reason all of Beyonce’ lyrics are appropriate for this article). She makes his life better and brings value to it. Another way you can recognize this truth in her life is through verse 23. It says, ”Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.” In those days, the city gates were places of central activity where important meetings and transactions took place. Don’t think barbed wire or white picket fence; think courthouses, civic centers, boardrooms and business meetings. In other words, the Proverbs 31 woman did her job so well (of being wife and helpmeet) that her husband had clout and important people knew his name, making him an important person. That is some real upgrading ya’ll. We are talking the Coretta Scott King’s and Jackie O’s of the world. We have all heard the expression “Behind every great man, is a great woman”. This is not just a tired old cliche’. This is truth and the Proverbs 31 woman proves it. And what man does not want that kind of woman? Your man will thank you and recognize the value that you bring. Maybe not all the time and under every circumstance, but eventually he will come to the realization that his life is a heck of a lot better because you are in it. P31’s husband recognized it. Verse 28 says: “Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also and he praises her”. Notice how we just talked about how she is business savvy and makes all of this money, yet there is still a reverence and respect for her husband. She does not undermine him or devalue him just because she brings in good money. She make her husband feel like a king, and their home and life is blessed because of it.
3. How to walk in your worth
One of the verses that speaks to me the loudest in this chapter is verse 18 “She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night.” Now you can take this at face value and believe that she was referring to her business ventures and you would not be wrong. But like all of God’s Word, there is more than one way to rightly divide it. God is so good at what He does that He provides deeper revelation within His Word and it’s the Holy Spirit’s job to enlighten you to the truth as it relates to you and your situation. That is why the Bible says that the Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4:12). This is not a dead book. There is always more revelation to be had because we serve a LIVING God. So allow me to let you in on a little revelation that was given to me through this verse. It says that she PERCEIVED that her MERCHANDISE is good. In other words, she RECOGNIZED her worth. She recognized that what she had, what she brought to the table, what God had placed on the inside of her was GOOD. But notice what her recognizing did: the verse didn’t go on to say that this made her arrogant, or lazy or complacent. Instead verse 18 goes onto say “and her lamp does not go out by night.” In other words, she was motivated to keep going, to do more, sometimes to the point of no rest. She kept her light shining so that even in the darkest places and at the darkest times in life, others could benefit from her lamp and her light. That’s deep ya’ll. This sounds like a woman who knew her worth and who used it well not just for selfish gain and ambition, but to enrich others. And that is how you walk in your true worth.
What other wisdom can you glean from the Proverbs 31 woman? Let me know in the comments or on Instagram.
Still Hidden in Him,