Oh Hey 2018! I see you with your blank pages ready to be written on. I'm ready for you and all the goodness and glory you will bring with you this year. But first, here's a few random things I'm hoping we all have left behind in 2017 in order to embrace all that 2018 has to offer.
Being someone we’re not
You ever met someone for the first time and felt the need to perform? Meaning you you put on a mask, act or facade? Maybe that performance even made it to the 2nd 3rd or 4th encounter? For some reason, you couldn’t just let your hair done and be authentically you? The you that’s a little bit messy when she eats. The you that has a little bit of nerd inside of her? The you that’s a tad bit (or a big bit) introverted? The you that isn’t perfect 100% of the time? Well in 2018, it’s time out for superficial interactions and surface relationships. The divine connections and friendships with people who God wants you connected with will not have to be forced. The person God has for you will see you for who you truly are and love everything about you, even your quirks. So no more pretending to be someone we’re not. It’s time to live un-apologetically you.
Sticking around longer than we should in a dead relationship
As I was talking to someone earlier this week about a relationship they were trying to get out of, it awakened a myriad of feelings and took me back to a time when I too was stuck (for lack of a better word) in a relationship that was headed nowhere. Actually, I take that back. It was headed somewhere, it was headed towards destruction. It sought to destroy me physically, mentally and emotionally. But somehow year after year, I stuck around. In those few moments of speaking to her, I realized why stuck around so long. I was comfortable. It was a familiar relationship with a person I was very familiar with and I was comfortable right where I was. Was I at the apex of happiness like one should be when they’re in a relationship? No. But I was comfortable and at that time without me even realizing it, comfort and familiarity trumped my happiness. Complacency and fear of the unknown crippled me into staying. Don’t let that be you. Whether it’s a long term relationship that has taken up too much of your life for too long or a faux relationship where you’re talking to someone (dear God let’s get rid of the entire concept of talking as well) and you know it’s going nowhere, let’s all decide that we will value ourselves enough to make healthy decisions for the sake of our future self. You don’t want to look up one day and suddenly you’re in the year 2028 playing the same games with the same person or the same games with a different person. You deserve better. You deserve true happiness. It’s up to you to put yourself in the proper position to receive it. Disclaimer: this does not include marriage. We work things out in marriage. That’s why when you’re single, you choose wisely and exercise your right to walk away from toxic relationships.
Thinking getting married is the end all be all
Listen I have not arrived because I have a ring on my finger and someone changed my last name. Neither have my married peers. There is so much life to be lived, so many goals to be achieved and so much success to partake in and being married is not a prerequisite. Don’t get me wrong. Being married is lit. It’s beautiful, it’s work, it’s fun, it’s work, it’s edifying, did I mention it’s work? LOL.There is absolutely nothing wrong with desiring to be in a healthy relationship. It only becomes an issue once you begin to covet it, meaning you have an inordinate desire for it. It consumes your thoughts, your social media posts, your words, your prayers etc. It affects your mood, your relationship with God, and a host of other things. Not only can men sense desperation from a mile away, it’s also just plain old unhealthy. 2018 is your year of contentment in your portion. Walk in it while also keeping your healthy desire for marriage.
I think we can all agree that time is one of our greatest assets. It’s valuable and once it’s gone, we can’t get it back. With that in mind, it’s important that we’re not going out with people just for the sake of going out with them. That free meal is not worth it sis. I truly believe that one can find their mate without doing a whole lot of dating around. As a matter of fact, I believe that you can find your mate without going out with another single person who isn’t your husband. How? With the help of the Holy Spirit. When I was single, God had something to say about every single person I got myself involved with. He would warn me in different ways about each one. He would give me dreams, disrupt my peace and give me an uneasy type of feeling, and even spoke to my heart sometimes. It was just up to me to take heed to His leadings (most of the time I did not smh) which led to lots of serial dating for a season. Each of those situations taught me valuable lessons, but guess what? I didn’t have to go through the heartbreak and pain that came with each one. If I would have just listened to the gentle leadings of the Holy Spirit, I could have made it all the way to meeting my husband without a single heartbreak. See sometimes we get ourselves in a predicament and when it’s all said and done we end up asking God why and crying out to Him for help and even get mad because He didn’t stop it when all the while He’s going “I tried to warn you”, or “I never told you to get involved with him in the first place.” In 2018 and however long it takes let’s purpose to allow God into our love life. Let’s check in with the Holy Spirit before we give out our phone number, before we accept that date, and before we agree to get into that relationship.
Doing the same thing expecting different results
Now we all know that’s the textbook definition of the word insanity. I would hate for you to go into another year screaming, tweeting and even believing “New Year, New Me” yet keeping the same mindset and producing the same actions. With the new year comes a chance for a fresh start, A chance to do something differently and really live a life God has destined you for. So this year don’t be afraid to clear the clutter in your life (in the form of people and things), set goals and strategize how you’re going to accomplish them, think positive, speak positive, create a vision board and pray over it, drop any dead weight, habits and sins that so easily trip you up, read more books, go to more conferences, eat better food, entertain more quality people, make yourself a quality person. You only get one 2018 and you only get one life to live. Let’s make it a good one to the glory of God.
Still Hidden in Him,